I had—have—a friend, Phil, who was martyred in the 2008 Colorado YWAM and Colorado Springs church shootings here. We were regular with our witnessing in downtown Denver. He had such a sincere compassion for people and love for Christ. Just a little background on Phil. He used to be a skinhead, sat on the back of busses and despised everyone. After he met Jesus he hit the streets and eagerly shared his testimony. He even since sat on the back of busses and shared the Gospel with people, a complete 180 from his former self. He always felt strongly that the people in the back seat of the bus were like he was, hard, hurting, lost. He made it his mission to reach those in the dark places he had once lived.
We got cussed out one night on 16th street mall here by a buddhist teen girl after we witnessed to her. It was quite the scene. The outside restaurant cafè looked on, wondering what we had “done” to this girl. After she walked away and screamed profanities at us, I felt the words in my mouth (“but God loves you and provided you a way out”) helplessly linger in the space between the roof of my mouth and my tongue. I felt anger at her deception and I felt in my heart like I would go to the ends of the earth to destroy the veil of lies she had subscribed to. I was so heartbroken for her—we both were— and felt so helpless, though one of her friends was really receptive. (You could see in her eyes she was hungry for the words “For God so loved the world”—which would mean her, too). But she left, looking back at us once more, a regretful look on her face, as if to say to us, “I have to go with my friends, but I really wanted to hear some more. I want to hear that God loves me! Talk to Him for me! I want to know! I want to know Him!”
Phil’s heart was to immediately pray for them, as was mine, even while I was so drunk with discouragement. We huddled against the wall of the pavilions there and prayed. I was a mess of emotion. One thing we focused our prayers on was that the Holy Spirit would go with them and convict them and draw them to Jesus in repentance and trust, for true love, forgiveness and hope. That they may know Him.
Phil died, was shot, while hanging Christmas lights at the Denver YWAM missions center. He loved Jesus, and I’m so mad that he’s already Home with him. I miss him. I miss my friend today. It was a tragic loss felt deeply by our entire evangelism team, a hard time for us, but he lost his life (gave his life) in the service of Jesus to others, so we found great cause to rejoice! I’m glad Phil is an excellent example to me. I still remember his voice sharing Jesus with those teens with me. I remember the compassion behind it even as we prayed.
Lately I’ve felt void of compassion for others. It has been a tremendously trying time for me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. My close friends are aware of this now as we’ve had time to talk. I find it appropriate that this morning Jesus would remind me of Phil. His voice (the voice of a martyr) echoes in my head, “Give them love Tony, give them the compassion of Jesus. Give them the Truth, Jesus, so they can have hope.” Even now, as often I do, I see Phil in my mind on the back seat of a bus. He has a pure smile across his face, and kind eyes. His shoulders sway side to side in rhythm with the buses’ unpredictable movement. He scans all of the seats then leans over to the person next to him and says, his voice full of compassion, “Hi, I’m Phil. Did you know that Jesus…”
I can’t wait to see my friend. I will see him one day, but not yet. For now, I’m praying for compassion.
“When he [Jesus] saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.” -Matthew 9:36-38
Another very good story! Compassionate!